Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
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This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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