He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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