Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel like abortions should bother me more
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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