Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
