Kiss
Puke
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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