Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
