God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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