I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
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He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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