You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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