So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
