anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize