remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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