just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
