I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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