walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
