He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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