I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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