Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
