and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
