I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We have started to decorate penises.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
