i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
40s are totally the cure
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
