she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
