His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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