Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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