The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
