we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
