Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
