dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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