I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize