She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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