My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The struggles of a small town man whore
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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