Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
