I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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