The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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