I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I can text with my tongue
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
