Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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