Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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