Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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