Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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