I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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