i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
