She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Randomize
