You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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