Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
