she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
