There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
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I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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