Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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