The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
