I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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