is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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