wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
