who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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