can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm always down for nudity.
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