Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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